Tuesday, December 30

A Gnu Year, A New Ewe

Heh.

So it's about that time again, when the denizens of this planet take it upon themselves to do that "resolution" thing for the coming year. So I thought about it, and here's my New Year's Resolution:

1024x768

I was at 640x480 last year, so I thought it was time to upgrade.

I kid, of course. I do wonder though: do people REALLY go through with any goals they set for themselves after maybe a month or so? Do people really lose the weight? On a side note, I should keep an eye on infomercials in January to see how many weight-loss products are being sold. I imagine that with the exception of a few people, the resolution idea is more of a nice thought than any practical application in life.

Of course, I could be totally wrong, and if I am, please let me know.

But, since I'm still of the goofy mind-set, I've decided that since 87% of the U.S. population won't lose the weight, I can make an equally absurd resolution: I'm going to be a better guitarist than Steve Vai by this time in 2004.

Note I said 'better,' not 'weirder.' No one can top that. I mean, the man has his clavicals pierced, for crying out loud.

I should also like to point out, again, that U2 still kicks ass, as does the guy at home with me right now, for taking the time to make me the CDs of the Slane DVD. He is, as I might say, a peach.

Last night witnessed the first, epic rehearsal of Routine 27. I think, even through any cruddy bits we had, we were still better than Nickleback.

Cheery bye.

Sunday, December 28

Ah, yeah, huh. well. Whee!

Heh. Family. Yeah, they're all nuts. And then you get them all in the same room, and just wait for something fun to happen! Last night was close, I think. Thankfully, Auntie Di was nice enough not to go and rip Dalette's lungs out with a toothpick. And make no mistake, I'm sure she could, if she was so inclined.

And then there was the "fireplace incident" of Christmas Eve. Mix one large dog, one edgy dad, a fireplace, and his mom, and you've got....fireworks. Yeah, yeah. Shut up. But, in the end, cooler heads prevailed.

Or something. Shoot I don't know. Ask the other one. He can give you a long shpeel. I frankly don't feel like typing it all out. If you really want to know, you can come and ask me at work tomorrow. Odds are I won't feel like doing anything anyways. And besides, the boss is on vacation, so I could probably get away with it.

Oh yes. I think it's worht noting that ALL parents think their kids are the cutest babies on the face of the earth. It's just one of those things. Sort of like guys and power tools. Only different.

No, I'm sure Steve's kids will be simply precious.

Hey! Do you know how to tell when you're done playing football? That's right! When The Man kicks you off the field.

I miss having a month off.

U2 still kicks ass.

Bloody weather.

Thursday, December 25

Boy howdy, I hate it when this happens...

Have you ever walked into your kitchen in the morning and been surrounded by your closest friends?

No?

Have you ever walked in and found a rather unsightly cigarrette smoking lady?

I know, I know. It happens to me at LEAST once a week. I don't even know who she is!

And that wallet thing is VERY funny, when you consider my dad said it with a straight face. And, in some really odd way, I guess it made sense. Sort of. Or not.

If you can help it, don't go and get sick. It's just such a hassle, what with the coughing, sneezing, fevering, bad sleeping, etc. etcc, i just can't see the benefit. Even staying home from work loses it's huzzah, since there's NOTHING to do. except attempt to try and have conversations with your cats (brothers are SOOO overrated for REAL conversation), but then you realize you CAN'T, because you have no voice. But, a date to see Return of the King is very much worth risking extended illness. So, even if you're bedridden, take your bed, and go see that movie. Yeah, it's that good.

So I know I've been slacking off lately, which is really bad, considering the fact I still think of this as "my site," which, of course, is pretty silly. But, after Friday, I might not be of the ability to post anymore. So if there are no more posts after today, call Tom. I'm sure it'll be his fault.

And, well, Merry Christmas, Happy Channukah, Happy Kwaanza, or, for you more interesting people, enjoy your winter solstice.

Strange fellers...

Friday, December 19

flush with turtle paste residue

Damn right my house isn't broken! Well, wait, there might be a few areas in need of sprucing up, but the general consenus among people polled (read: the cats) says that my house is just fine.
Signs you know you've probably crossed the fine line between nerd and super nerd: you watch Jurassic Park (I, II, or III) and you spend as much time watching the movie as you do criticizing the paleontologist the film used as it's 'expert.' Yeah, that's right Horner! I don't like you! Hahahah!

Moron.

Anyways. Attended a hockey game last night. And we won, huzzah. I believe the Blues are undefeated in the last, I don't know 7 or 8 games I've been to. It's probably not a bad idea if I went to EVERY game during the season. So Blues' management, listen up.

Ho hum ho. Nothing else to report at the moment.

Wednesday, December 17

I think...

what my brother is really trying to say is "dear God I can't believe I'm going to be stuck in a house with that guy for 5 WEEKS!"

Not that he has to put up with me all that much, but you know, I'd be sick of me after awhile too. But anyways. We just got a new camera at work! Whee!!!! I think I'm going to like this thing. And, if nothing else, it gives me an excuse to not really do anything for awhile today, since I'll be "testing the equipment." I do need to use it today, so I'll have to figure it out ASAP.

In other news, Return of the King opened today, excellent. I think I have a date to see it this weekend. I mean, I AM going to see it, but the 'date' portion leaves room for interpretation. We'll have to see. I go from not having ANY dates, to maybe having to deal with multiple people. Jeezo.

It should be noted that picture frames are damned expensive, so my early idea that I'd be saving money on gifts this year kinda got shot down. Oh well. It's a nice change for people, I think.

Anyways, my hands are a bit shaky, which means I need to go eat something. Obviously, Cap'n Crunch just won't cut it anymore.

Cheery bye,
Dave

Sunday, December 14

Sunday

Today is Sunday, yes.

So the weather persons called it right. For a change.

And where did I hear about Saddam getting caught today? At church, of all places. Fr. Don beat the internet! How about that?

So why is it, when there's any kind of moisture in the air, that people can't drive anymore? Yes there's snow. No, it doesn't mean drive 35 on the highway. Not last night, at least. It wasn't THAT bad. Jeezo.

For any budding photojournalists reading this: be prepared to sacrifice all of your free time. If you don't truly love what you're doing, you will get sick of it. On the bright side, you might get to see a fun Kwanzaa festival with one of the coolest bass players short of Mr. Wooten I've seen in awhile. So I think it all evens out in the end.

I smell like a fireplace. Maybe I should go shower.

Cheery bye!

Friday, December 12

Bah

Yeah, I wish I had exciting dreams and stories to relate to loyal readers. Alas, I lead the dull life of a full-time worker.

I feel obligated to post though. I was going to earlier today, but decided against it. Oh well.

Hey, it's going to snow tomorrow! We're all going to die! Get to the stores, buy water, stock up!!! There's no hope!

Unless, you know, nothing happens. They're predicting 2-4 inches, which means either 8 inches, or none. And guess who's supposed to be out driving in it?

Stay tuned for updates...

Thursday, December 11

mind over mind

So, in an attempt to make my life sound just ever so slightly more exciting than it actually is, I offer this story from last night's soccer game.

About midway through the second half, I'm chasing down the ball in the corner, but the guy from the other team beats me to it, and kicks it rather hard, in an effort to clear it, right off the side of my head.

No wait! Come back! I'm not done yet.

I go down, naturally, but, also naturally, I'm right back up again (I think it falls under the realm of a "stupid guy thing"). The ref had blown the whistle, although I found that pointless, since it took me longer to fall than get back up. Anyways, I'm about to get going again, when the guy from the other team asks me if I'd lost a contact. I check my eyes, and my left eye seems a bit blurry, so I'm like "I guess so." So the majority of both teams start looking for it, which must have been an amusing sight, but no go. I also realized that even if we DID find it, it did me no good, since I sure as hell wasn't going to put it back in my eye, and I didn't have a case. So I played on. After the game, I'm driving home, and I'm thinking to myself, "Self, my vision isn't all that off." So I get home, check the mirror, and, of course, Mr. Lens is still in there. So there you go. The power of suggestion is indeed powerful.

Oh yeah, we won. 7-1, or something. I don't know, or care all that much. All these "freelancers" we have on our team don't do much for me. Sure they're good, but there's no real team chemistry with them. They don't sub, and they're too flashy. So I'll be glad when they leave. Soon, I hope. We have three weeks off, and then we should have some regulars back.

One other thing: it's cold enough to freeze your winnebago out there! It's so cold I found a polar bear in by refrigerator trying to keep warm!

Tuesday, December 9

update!

The quote is from the episode called 'Future Schlock.'

Why would someone put a bannana in the refrigerizer?

And another thing...

First, a big hello to our anonymous poster. Whoever you are, "thank you for stopping bye!"

I quoted that from something, but I can't remember what. CGT, any ideas? It might be Rocko, but I could be wrong. Great. Now I'm going to be up all night trying to figure out where that came from. Grr. Way to go, brain. Trying to drive me nuts.

Can you tell I'm filling space? I actually do have a point or two.

Sort of going back to the 'Tones show, although this is a bit more generic. For all concert-goers: when you get to the show, PICK A SPOT AND STAY THERE! All this wandering back and forth and pushing your way up is rude, and damn annoying. Now, if the crowd is shifting, sure, move on up. But don't go strolling around in THE MIDDLE OF A SONG! Also, why do people go to shows and talk on their cell phones DURING a song?

Man, people can be stupid sometimes. Bah.

Note to you bachelor types out there: changing the vacuum bag is a good idea every so often. You can actually get the floors clean! Whee!!!

Speaking of album titles, Pink Floyd's masterpiece 'Dark Side of the Moon' was actually a title used by another band around the same time. The other album (I can't recall who, but I can look it up), was a commercial dud, so the Floyd felt okay in using it for themselves. Something else to chew on, eh?


update: the name of that band was Medicine Head. I almost tripped over a cat to bring you that information, so don't forget it!

Monday, December 8

totally baked...

As in cookies, of course.

My first batch for the year came out pretty good, although it might be my only batch. Of course mother took the good blender with her when she left, and the hand-held deally I have now is, well, less than stellar. It shouldn't take 20 minutes to get the batter mixed!

But they look the same when they come out, and hey, they even managed to taste good! Granted, I have more than I know what to do with. Thank God for coworkers.

I find it amusing that ABC decided to have tonight's Ram's game start at 8. That's 9 on the east coast! Those poor folks are going to be up until 12:30 or somethin, just because of stupid Monday Night Football. Why not move it up an hour?

Oh yeah, that would make sense...

The Flecktones still rock, thank you very much.

Sunday, December 7

the fjords of oslo

Ah, nothing like a Flecktones show.

The modifier 'good' is redundant, since the phrase "Flecktones show" implies good. And, as always, they were beyond brilliant. I can't recall any specifics, which always annoys me.

I somehow feel prvileged that my favorite bands/musicians are the best at what they do. The 'Tones, U2, Pink Floyd, Satriani, Pearl Jam--all excellent bands to begin with, but they also happen to be (as far as I'm concerned) THE best in the business. So I guess I end up feeling elitist when I'm at these shows, which irks me, since I don't want to feel better than everyone else. Oh well. I suppose that if that's the worst of my problems, I'm in good shape, eh?

That being said...I don't think I have anything else to say.

In the words of the great Rob Savoy: "That's all I got."

Thursday, December 4

maybe

Well, I'll give them the benefit of the doubt, although the last Tim Burton movie I saw was Planet of the Apes. Remember: not a remake, a reimagining! I was not impressed.
But his stuff tends to be a bit, well dark, and I don't think the book was all that dark. Maybe a slight hint at it, but TB isn't usually subtle with that stuff (Batman Returns anyone?). I will agree that Emma would be a good Veruca, though, after seeing those lines. I love the dialogue from the original. I think just about all of it is worth keeping.

Danny Elfman will do the music.

And hey, check this out: http://pages.slu.edu/student/betkist

Mmm-kay, I have to go to work now. And my stomach hurts. Lovely.

Wednesday, December 3

Yeah, but...

They ALREADY made that movie, and it was just fine. I mean, I like Tim and Johnny Depp as much as the next guy, but jeezo, can't we leave well enough alone?

Depp is good, but he's no Gene Wilder. And you know there's NO WAY that boat scen is going to make it in this time.

No, I think I'll stick with the original.

ACTING!

Ah, so now I feel truly initiated into the world of DeSmet theater: i witnessed my first Fr. Craig "I'm going to rip someone's throat out" moment. Directed towards a mom no less! Whee! Oh yeah, and I got to see a good show. Some memorable lines in a moment. But first...

So I'm walking into the now famous "Emerson lobby," home of...well, that painting of that one lady that would receive offerings of food after lunch my sophomore year, and some other stuff, and I happened to hear another of those "moms" discussing something to this effect:

"...and I was like 'it is NOT sixty cents,' and the girl at the desk said 'but the computer says it's sixty cents.'"

Something along those lines. Regardless, experience told me she was most likely talking about a library fine. Now, of course, the problem here is that this woman was getting worked up over SIXTY CENTS. I mean, jeezo lady, is it that big of a deal? Just pay it! I'm sure you'll find a way to survive. I could say some other things, but I won't.

Anyways, good quotes from "The Butterfingers Angel, Mary and Joseph, Herod the Nut, and the Butchering of 12 Christmas Carols in a Pear Tree." Also known as "TBAMJHtNatBoTCCiaPT."

"They're antideluvian! A hippopotamus is a higher form of human life!"
"It's a census! So sign up by the first of the year. Or it's off with your heads!"
"Every night I pray to God to make me perfect. And every morning, in His infinite wisdom, I wake up a putz."
"Time? Time is what I make. 3/4? 4/4? 7/8? What'll it be?"

Good times. And hey! I'm on the DDP wall of fame! I got my pictures in those snazzy little plaques commemorating each show from the year!

Excelsior!

Tuesday, December 2

Cry havoc, and let loose the dogs of war.

Or something like that. It doesn't have anything to do with anything, I just like the way it sounds. I'm thinking of the quote from General Chang, in Star Trek VI, of course.

So we have $1000 to spend on a new camera here at work. $1000!!!!!!! That would buy us almost ANYTHING we want. I mean, jeezo, if I'd known a few red eyes would get us new equipment, I'd have done it earlier. Nothing wrong with what we have now, of course, but, new equipment is always fun.

I wonder: does the mere fact that I own a house make me potentially more appealing to types of the opposite sex ("girls," if you will), then before? And, if so, why don't I have a 5% increase in the amount of dates I had before? Oh yeah, 5% of nothing is still nothing. Curses! Foiled by math once again! Yeah, everyone seems to think I should have people lining up outside the door for a date or something. Maybe they come while I'm at work or something.

I apologize for that. I think you'll find this a bit more interesting.

I almost used the (in)famous Monty Python foot in a design today. Came very close. Maybe next time.

Yeah for the 'Tones!!!

Monday, December 1

Huh

Yeah, um. Huh. Please ignore this.