A man among men

Finally getting to the third point I meant to get to at some point last week.

I imagine most of you have seen some of the silly new Hardees commercials with the poor schmucks who seem to have trouble doing the simplest of tasks to prepare breakfast.

Por ejemplo:

--Guy A destroys a piece of toast whilst trying to butter it.

--Guy B spend somewhere near 3 weeks trying to utwist the twisty tie on a loaf of bread.

Follow this up with some line about "without us, some guys would starve," or some nonsense like that, then show off some God-awful, artery clogging mess for breakfast, containing no less than 3 lbs of eggs, 1/2 lb of bacon, and about a 1/2 lb each of cheese and sausage.

The thinking being, I guess, that most guys are too stupid to fend for themselves, meaning they have to eat out. Plus, guys must enjoy eating artery clogging dishes such as the one described above.

This is all pure bollocks. If Guy A had simply set his butter out to soften for a minute or two, and maybe got dressed while waiting, he'd have no trouble buttering his toast. Plus, if the toast was warm enough, it should have been melting the butter anyways.

I will admit that twisty ties can be annoying at times. But Guy B spends waaaay too long fiddling with it. Almost any other person with half a brain stem would have stopped and looked to see which way they needed to turn it, or gotten fed up with the damn thing and reached for some scissors, stale bread be damned.

And why are guys only eating toast for breakfast? Is the idea that these men are so stupid they can only muster the effort to work the toaster and manage to fail at that?

As a card-carrying member of the male species, I must take a little offense at the portrayal of my gender. I will admit to having done some dumb things before. Just last night, I burned my hand on an iron when I wasn't even ironing. But these commercials are a bit much. I mean, come on. Are we that mindless? Do we just sit around all the time drinking beer, eating high calory foods, and looking at girls' butts?

If so, I'm obviously doing something wrong here. Thank God Hardees* is here to show me the error of my ways.



Maybe I'm generalizing a bit, but you get the idea. I'd say I'm boycotting Hardees, but I never ate there anyways, so it's really not all that different. But I can still complain, right?


You wouldn't get much for that thing anyways. It's not even a real cow.
Dave









*Actually, as I thought about it, a lot of sit-coms portray us guys along those lines, too. I'm sorry, did we do something wrong?