Benny and the (Red) Jets

First, some bad news.

It seems the Catholic Church is in trouble now.

With the election of Cardinal Ratzinger as Pope, we're now being led by a German Shepherd.


Thank you! I'll be here all day!

One more?

Okay: the official Breakfast of the Vatican?

Eggs Benedict!

Thank you, thank you. You're too kind. No, really, please. Sit down, sit down.


Um, anyways. I was going to go one direction with this, then decided to start with something else, then wound up going with option 3, the jokes. So now I don't know where to go. I think I'll go with option 2. Right before I started typing, I noticed the empty Mountain Dew can on my desk, telling me to visit their website. I had to ask myself what I could possibly find there that would be of any use to someone like myself. So.....let's find out!

We have...

+MDTV
+Gaming
+Sports
+Promos
+Brands
+Downloads
+Join Dew


Let's try the last one, eh?

"You're on the path to be one of the few – the proud – the green."--Sounds like a good deal to me. I just hope it's not green with food poisoning. Hmm...asking for my birthday, fine, although having the option to enter my birth year as 1900 seems odd. How many 105 year olds are going to be bothering with this?


"Approximately how many 8oz. servings of carbonated soft drinks do you consume each week?" I doubt "too much" is an option, so I'll have to guess. My favorite drink? Caffeine-free, diet Coke. Yummy.

Okay, so I joined. The only perk appears to be the ability to enter contests. That's it? No coupons, free sodas, extra...stuff? What a waste! Let's try one more section of the site before my break is over.

MDTV? Eh, just 30-second TV spots. Gaming? Eh, no better. I don't see anything worth my time. And...now I've lost interest in the site, so I'm going to stop wasting my time. I don't plan on buying any 'Dew Gear,' so it's time to move on.

The lesson to be learned from all this? Soda brands have no business running websites. Well, not when they're annoyingly laid out and utterly dull. So, now my break is over and I've gotta start working again. I guess this was a mostly wasted post, so I'm sorry to have made you sit through it. At least you got some fresh jokes.



That's--that's me: Boyfriend Dan.
Dave