It's wonderful to be here, it really is a thrill

Because these are the sort of things I think about when I have too much time on my hands, I offer you this pearl, pulled straight out of my head.

Much to my horror and dismay, Gwen "No Doubt" Stefani released a solo album with the current radio favorite, "Hollaback Girl." Bad grammar aside, the song grates on my ears like a box grater. It's like....well, at the moment, I can't find the words. It's indescribably bad. It barely seems to constitute an actual song, as far as I see it, since it hardly contains any actual melody. Maybe it did at one point, but it was all stripped out in the end. The only remaining music is the acoustic giutar riff (what is it with hip-hop and acoustic guitars?) played over the 'this my shit' refrain. Tangent: radio can't play 'shit,' of course, so all you get is 'this my,' which, if you listen right, sounds like 'DeSmet.' Maybe it's just me. End Tangent And, really, it's kinda stupid lyrically in the first place. I guess someone was steppin' on her turf or something, I don't know.

But!

The worst part, I think, has to be this part:

Let me hear you say, this shit is bananas
B-A-N-A-N-A-S
this shit is bananas
B-A-N-A-N-A-S
Again, this shit is bananas
B-A-N-A-N-A-S
This shit is bananas
B-A-N-A-N-A-S

I'm sorry, but in the future, can we have a rule that lyrics must be written by actual lyric writers? Or something? Please? Jeez.

Okay. Sorry to complain so much, but I really don't like that song. I will admit to having listened to it before, mostly because I was awestruck at the sheer badness of it all.

It did, though, somehow, remind me of a lyric from an old 311 song, 'Omaha Stylee,' off the 1994 album 'Grassroots.' It may be my favorite of theirs. Musically, I think it's their strongest, and since a lof of 311 lyrica are either a bit too...metaphysical for me, or sometimes just silly, I don't count them as much in the final thought process. But I digress. Again. In the above song, there's a line that goes:

and I say know no critical border cause we do what we want
got more funky styles than my laser jet got font
not one to get over sounding like the norm
friendly to the radio, all that shit is corn
all we coming with is a little bit of swing
and we go on like it ain't no thing, and I say

Apparently, shit and fruit/vegetable comparisons are really big in the music business. Or, Gwen is ripping off 311.

Also: if you're a fan of H.B. Girl, I apologize. I still think that song is pretty, well, shitty, but if you like it, that's peachy. Or corn. Something like that.

Also also: I think we need a motto for Florissant. Maybe something like Florissant: Have We Told You About Shandi Finnessy Yet?



there's much power in anger, but loves a bigger banger
Dave