His chops are too righteous!

Yes, that's right.

I saw the Spongebob Squarepants Movie last night. And it was funny. It featured the most amazing set of pecs I've ever seen. And, darn it, crying pirates are funny. I hold that it was worth sitting through the credits for that.

So there.

I wonder what bright mind in Hollywood decided it would be a good idea to make mindless, inane, asinine movies and sell some soley on the fact they have big name people doing the voices. Shark Tale and that soon-to-be-released nonsense of a movie about a racing zebra are good examples. I mean, really, come on. Is it that hard to do something that doesn't require on the fact you have David Spade as the voice of a fly?

I apologize to Janice's hand.

I'm putting up 2 (2) trees this weekend in two days. At that pace, by Sunday I could maybe even have three trees up (I won't).

I'm also padding this post out because it was mostly an excuse to use the line from the movie as a subject. I guess I could talk about Thanksgiving, since it was yesterday, but nothing really exciting happened. Of course, it was good to see the Moores, and the food was quite good, but there was no drama, yelling, smoke, etc, save for Graham puking.

Oh!

Cousin Jessica, 14, was watching U2 Go Home with myself and Curt yesterday, and, apart from a couple songs of ATYCLB, knew virtually nothing about them. So I had to do some explaining. Favorite question: "Are they an old band?" I'm not used to dealing with anyone who has barely heard of U2. I did not know such a person existed. I shan't hold it against her though. Now she has an excuse to go buy everything they've done.

Did you know it snowed on Wednesday? It did. Honest. I might have liked it more had I not been in a basement working or worried about my power coming back on. But it was nice.

Yadda yadda. I'm done. I need to clean up a bit so I can actually have room to erect a tree.


I'm ready! Promotion!
Dave

One Step Closer

I was originally going to open with some goofy remark about owning your own house and being able to walk around naked, but I decided to skip it, as I forgot the gist of it, and it probably wasn't as funny as I thought. It was based soley on a snippet of conversation I overheard at work today in the staff room, so it probably wasn't going to hold its own anyways.

So I'm just going to move on to far more interesting topics.

Some of you may be wondering if Half Life 2 is worth the purchase. You might also wonder if the new U2 album is worth the purchase.

Let me answer for you. In a word, goodGodyes.

Go. Now. Buy them both. I'm not going to wait, since it might take awhile, but I can assure you your money will be well spent. Wonderful music for your ears, and one fine computer game for all your senses (except for taste and smell, of course). I won't go into the nerdy reasons I like HL2 (flying sawblades of doom!), so don't worry.

I will, however, mention that HTDAAB (you type out the whole title!) is one of U2's finest, I think, although I was reflecting on their catalogue earlier, and realized that they haven't really had a ho-hum album yet. A few songs along the way, but taken as a whole, none of their albums have lacked. They've managed to take all the little things that make U2 U2, and work them just so. It doesn't sound like they're
trying though, which is good. Nothing feels terribly derivative of their old stuff. Edge borrows a couple old guitar licks, and Bono steals one or two of his own lyircs, but it all feels fresh, and different enough without being waaay out there. They've already done that (Achtung Baby), so now they can focus on what they do well.

So when does the tour start?

For anyone interested, my website is good to go. It won't be online for another couple weeks, mostly because I'm cheap and don't want to pay the $30 activation fee until I've been paid again. Rest assured though, when it's up, I'll let you all know.

I need to get some time off. I'm horribly unmotivated right now, as there isn't much exciting going on at work. I've got a wealth of time in December I'm taking off, and this week's mini-break ought to should help, so we'll see.

I was hoping to make biscuits for dinner Thursday, but that may have to be put on hold, as I'm not gonna have the time I thought. Not a big deal, but....I spent $1.20 on buttermilk!!! Eh. I'll make them some other time.

My tree is probably going up on Friday. I have my new Star Trek ornament, so it's gonna be an extra nerdy Christmas season. One upshot of the no-TV thing is not having to endure the myriad commercials and hullabaloo that springs up every year about this time. Yeah, I'll still have the nonsense in stores, but I don't hit them too often, so I can probably deal with it. Yay for not losing my mind!

And yay for Mr. Tabana, whoever he is!


Swinging to the music.
Dave

Ghetto Flannel

Do you ever sit yourself down to post something and then realize you aren't as into it as you thought you might be?

But, consarnit, I haven't posted in over a week, and I'm dedicated to keeping this thing on the cutting edge of...blognessitivity or something.

I checked my e-mail on Monday evening, and got a wondeful message from the folks at Amazon. It said, in a nutshell, "we've shipped you copy of Half Life 2." Hot damn. Part of me hoped it'd be on the porch when I came home Tuesday, but that was a no-go. Maybe this evening, although I won't have a lot of time to play. The bathroom needs cleaning, and I have to make chili for our chili-fest at work tomorrow. I've decided to go for the gusto and grind my own hamburger for to use. Why? Well, if you had an attachment for that sorta thing, wouldn't you be compelled to use it? Sunday, Half Life 2 willing, I'm gonna try my hand (I think) at some eclaires. My main man Alton gave me the idea, and it actually seems pretty easy.

Let's see you segue from computer games to pastries in the same paragraph.

More segues then you or your grandma can handle.

For anyone interested, I'm about halfway saved up for a Joe Satriani-style Ibanez. If anyone has another...$200 they've no use for, please send it to:

My House
#37 Down the Street From Your Aunt
The Hill on the Left, USA

I'll get it, trust me.

I saw Indian dancers on Monday night, and then proceeded to see Indian dancers yesterday afternoon. I think I preferred the Indian dancers, as the moody lighting and drums added a lot. This is not, of course, to take anything away from the Indian dancers, as some of the vocal bits reminded me a lot of Sandip Burman.

I'll leave you to figure it out. And don't ask Janice, that'd be cheating.

I was watching my Good Eats tape last night, and found, to my delight, it was the same tape I stuck the 'Tones performance on the Conan O'Brien Show last year. A shortened version of 'Next,' but it was still hot. I s'pose it'll have to do for now, since I won't be seeing them for...awhile.

I heard a new new U2 song yesterday, called 'Crumbs from Your Table.' Very good, although it broke my policy of not wanting to hear anything new until I bought the thing on Monday night/Tuesday morning. Still, I can't remember a note of it, so that's good. I'm been ambitiously listening to nothing but U2 this week in the car. Reverse chronologically, album by album, straight through. I started Monday, and I'm currently on the last couple songs of Rattle and Hum. My lack of driving over the weekend may hinder my ability to listen to all the albums before buying HTDAAB, but we'll see. I'll adjust if need be.

The Hamilton clock on the wall says it's time for the invasion of the Neptune men, so I'd best be going.


Excelsior!
Dave

Bits and bites.

The hits just keep on coming.

Okay kids, here's your word for today: 'snackmosphere.'

That is, of course, the layer of air in bags of candy, chips, etc.

We'll have a test at the end of the week.

Bad news: No Fred acoustic show next month. LT is still on.

Good news: Homestar DVD this week!!!


Yummy.
Dave

Dream a little dream with me.

I swear this is my last post today. I forgot to mention this earlier.

I had a dream whilst I was sleeping at Tom's Friday night that may be the strangest thing I've ever dreamt.

As best as I can recall, Tom and I were in a huge lobby of some sorts, and had just set up some sort of artificial lightning rig to fry Godzilla when he came through (sorta similar to the end of Godzilla vs Hedorah for those in the know). However, our plans were interrupted because we had to fend off wave upon wave of storm troopers. Thankfully we had lasers to use. Alas, neither side won, because we had to leave. So Tom and I headed to the parking lot with all our gear, when we ran into Mr. Olmsted from DeSemt. Well, he sounded like Mr. Olmsted, but he looked like Mr. Callahan. His wife and two kids were there, too.

Then I woke up.

Very weird, especially the "time to stop the war because we have to go home" thing. Even worse, Godzilla never showed up. Apparently he had try-outs for Godot that night.

That's my dream.


Bye!
Dave

The only prescription is more cowbell!

I've never seen that sketch, which is kind of upsetting, as I consider myself a reasonably sized Bloe Oyster Cult fan.

Speaking of: fans of Cowboy Mouth and/or Cracker may recall the show at the Pageant last October. Not counting the jack-ass lead singer, the rest of the band was pretty durn cool, especially the feller in back, who stood around in sunglasses and a cowboy hat, doing various really cool things, such as playing the accordion, playing keyboards, and playing tambourine.

I kid you not, he made playing the tambourine seem cooler than anything else.

At the BOC show Wednesday, I saw something almost as cool during Don't Fear the Reaper. As I'm sure you all know, the song rather prominently features a cowbell. The band's new drummer didn't have one on his kit, though, so towards the end of the song, they brought one of their tech gurus on stage with a cowbell, and he proceeded to whack it with a drumstick for a couple minutes. Cool stuff.

I also forgot to mention I shook Buck Dharma's hand. I was able to do this because I was three freakin' feet from the stage.

Woot.

Speaking of birds: I visited friend Tom this weekend, and we spent some time jamming (I also spent some time beating the tar out of him in Half Life). I tought him the previously mentioned main groove of Birdland, and we turned it into a 7-10 minute jam, which was a lot of fun. I don't usually do jazz soloing, but I think I faked it pretty well.

"Birdland on the fifty-three, the street sounds like a symphony.

U2 wrote that line. Cool, huh?

I'ma go crossword now.



Jazz. Is. Weird.
Dave

It's a flaming wonder telepath.

Breaking news:

Just when you thought thigns couldn't get any worse, they just did. Read this.

I'm pretty sure that marks the end of civilization as we know it.

Blue Oyster Cult still rocks, despite the fact they've got some pretty old fellers in that band. Here's to hoping I can rock as hard as they do when I'm as old as they.

Lots of posting this week. But probably no more for a couple days. Going to K-Ville to rock out with Tom. Should be fun.

R U Ready 2 Rock?
Dave

I approved this message.

Ahhhh...I don't have to hear that for another four years.

I'm so glad all this election fallderall is OVER! Still, I can proudly say I got phone calls from George Bush, George Bush, John Kerry, and the NRA. I would have preferred calls (even recordings) from, say, Joe Satriani or the Edge, but I guess they were too busy being rock stars. Lucky turds.

My favorite election moment came this morning. Using my crude TV set-up in the kitchen, I had Today on, and they had set up a fake podium for people to come up and give a mock "vote for me" speech. Everyone started with a "My fellow Americans" style intro, save for one guy (through the snow of my screen, he looked like one of those fun old-fart kinda guys). He was sorta sitting/leaning on the podium, and this was hi greeting: "Hi."

My kinda president.

Happy 50th birthday to the Big G.


Oh no, there goes Tokyo!
Dave

The Horror of Mothra vs The Terror of Godzilla

If my sources are correct, tomorrow is officially Godzilla's 50th birthday. That's quite a long time for any fictional character to remain (somewhat) relevant. The degree of relevancy probably depends on who you ask. I say very, and about 90% of the world probably doesn't care. That's their loss, I think.

Has anyone else seen the new TV promo for Godzilla: Final Wars?

You really should.

Go now. There's a convenient link on the left side of this page you can use to go download it. I'll even wait for you.

....dum dum.....doo dee doo doo, whistle whistle....


See, I told you it was good. Or maybe I implied it.

Anyways.

I voted this morning, mostly because I didn't want an evil gang of thugs from MTV led by Ashlee Simpson knocking on my door and killing me because I didn't. Could you imagine how embarassed my mom would be if she had to tell people Ashlee Simpson killed her son? I mean, getting offed by someone legit, like Bono is one thing, but a no-talent pop singer? Ick. So I voted. I almost left-gasp!-a chad hanging on the back of my ballot, but I caught it in time.

Whew.

The wait wasn't too bad, maybe about 30 minutes or so, which is quite long, since I'm not used to any wait at all. I was going to vote for Dave Barry for president, but he wasn't on the ballot.

"Whoa, that sounds like a segue!"

Dave Barry, like the 'Tones, is going to take next year off, maybe longer. Well, he's gonna do some other stuff, but no weekly column. That's sad, but understandable. Don't want the funniest guy around going ga-ga on us. I'd rather have him come back fresh.

In case anyone's wondering, U2's new album will be released in 3 weeks. Of course, those of you who care already know. So I'm not sure who that message was directed at.

I'm hoping to have my website done by next week. I've got one full section and the 'about' section to do, and I can look into getting it all hosted. I'm gonna go all out and get my own domain name this time, since it's only about $10 a month.

I can afford to take on such extravagant expenditures because of a radical decision I've made. I've decided not to get my TV hooked up until March of next year. I've found I don't miss it all that much, and not spending $60 a month is pretty nice. My new date might have something to do with spring trainig, but then again, maybe not. So anyone coming to visit will probably be forced to watch MST3K or Godzilla, or maybe have to talk to me.

Jeez, not really a good option there. Maybe you could play with the cats.


Push on mighty Cushman!
Dave

The Silver Lining

From Redbird Nation:

"It's the death of summer — the subject of some of the greatest pop music, from the Beach Boys' "All Summer Long" to Jonathan Richman's "That Summer Feeling" — that's supposed to make today, the day after the World Series, the chilliest, most hopeless day of the entire year. But I didn't feel as bad today as I'd have thought. The sun was shining, and the nightmare that ended in Busch was growing just a bit foggier. And I swear there was a brief moment, when I walked outside to get my mail this afternoon, when springtime seemed, improbably, just around the corner..."


Just over 3 months until pitchers and catchers report.


Dave

Searching

In case I don't post this in time, Tuesday marks the one-year anniversary of this wonderful site.

Happy Birthday. MaxRes. And yes, your cheque really is in the post.

I'm not going to use this space to lament the loss of our beloved Cardinals to the Red Sox last night. If we had to lose, it might as well be to them. Granted, I would have liked a more competitive series, but...we made it that far, damn it, so I can't be upset. Expecially considering we weren't even "supposed" to be in the playoffs in the first place. Was it a choke? Nah. One hell of a time for a team to hit a slump.

Next year. A fresh year of hotness with Tony and Co.

Someone beat me to it, but Mr. Satriani's concert Sunday night was tremendous fun. Loud, yes, but oodles of wonderfulness. And yes, I know how stupid that sounded. So piss off.

Um, yeah, Got carried away, sorry.

Yes, Joe was good. There's not much else I can say, as you really had to be there to get the full experience. I would like to clear up my concert rating system, though. The whole "my ears are ringing a lot so it must have been good" theory is a bit much, I think. If I subscribe to that thinking, some pretty crappy shows would end up being "the best." Every show at the Creepy Crawl would have to be good, because it's so small, allowing for lots of ear ringing. This is not to say there aren't any good shows at the Crawl, just not up my alley. At least, I think so. I can't hear very well in there.

I've been TV-less for over a month now, and I'm in no hurry to get it hooked up again. The monetary savings is nice, and I get to do other, better things with my time. Like. play Half Life and watch Godzilla movies. See how much better it is?

Hey, you in the back, stop laughing!

Did I mention Half Life 2 comes out on November 16?

Stop it! C'mon, please?

Well fine, if you're gonna be like that, I'll just leave.

Meanies.


I saw Esau, he saw it.
Dave

World Serious

Ah, National League Champions.

I like the sound of that.

I'll wait a minute for all of you to say it to yourselves.







All done? See, it does sound nice.

How cool is this? The Cardinals in the World Freakin' Series.

Not so cool: I'll miss game one because of trivia and game two because of a concert (at least it's Satch). Oh well, I'll live.

Magic number is 4.



On to Beantown!
Dave

No one ever talks to a horse, of course.

That is, unless, of course, the horse is Cassie.

The HB.

No, really, she's such a cupcake. Would Mr. Wall lie about such things?

Him? Never!

Um....I rode a horse this weekend. I think so, at least. I was on a horse, but the actual amount of "riding" was pretty limited. There was a lot of me telling Ranger to stop and holding on for dear life. But it was fun, and my butt doesn't hurt. My upper legs do, which means, apparently, I was doing it right. Go figure. Janice had it much easier, because jack has two speeds: "mosey" and "off." A good starter horse, if you will.

Personally, I'd like a shot at whatever horse was in Monte Walsh: The Last Cowboy starring that guy who sort of looks like Tom Selleck. I never thought I'd say (or write) this, but some Westerns are actually pretty good. Enjoyable, at least, and far better than....Matlock.

Weekend recap: cooked food.

Moving on.

I like waking up, looking at the clock, and realizing I still have another hour or so to sleep. I do not, however, like to be woken up at 4:I can't believe how early it is in the morning because of a damn storm. A doozy. A lot of fallderall, really, and it managed to creep me out. George was smart and hid downstairs, which is where I went when I realized I wasn't going to go back to sleep anytime soon, to make sure I wasn't going to need about 47 towels to clean up the mess from leaky basement.

Nary a drop.

Which is more than I can say for my *^&%! new faucet, which, no matter how hard I try to install properly, keeps dripping. As I told mum last night, it was one of those times I wished I was a person who cussed a lot. It might've helped. As is, I have to take it all apart (again) tonight and apply more plumber's putty to stop the dripping. I think.

Hey, could you get that? Thanks a lot.

Fun stuf coming up, check it out:

Oct. 24--Satch
Oct. 30--trip to mum's
Nov. 3--BOC
Nov. 22--HTDAAB
Dec. 14--LotR: RotK
Dec. 14--Steve's Play of the Funny Name
Dec. 16--CM x2

Alas, no 'Tones in there, which means no 'Tones until '06.

Sigh.

Again, weekend summary: charred mammal flesh. Tasty.



drip, drip, splash.
Dave

Reports from the Home Front

I've found that the little things can end up being very cool sometimes. provided you know when to look. For example:

Driving to work, listening to U2's 'War,' listening to the song '40,' and then looking to your right just in time to see the sign that says your on Highway 40.


I like irony. It's the kind of thing that can often rely on a lot of little things to work out just so, which is why true irony is hard to come by. I don't count much of what Ms. Morrisette considers irony as true irony. I've been a victim of what I would consider true irony, but that's a long story. I was a victim again, though, this week. Case in point: Dave disconnects cable because it's too damn expensive. Dave calls dish people to come install a nice new dish at $20 less each month (yay!). Dave waits all day for dish guy to come. Dish guy arrives, tracks water in the house, checks the backyard, and tells Dave he can't get dish because there's no line of sight to the satellite. Sorry, sir. Dave still has no TV and must call cable people again so he can watch the rest of the playoffs.

Assuming Fox even shows our games, that is. I know we aren't Boston/New York, but come on! We're getting incredibly screwed over here. I mean, I'm glad we won last night (2-0!), but from what I've gathered, the only reason that game was played is because Fox didn't want anything competing with the Evil Empire/Red Sox game tonight in prime time. What if someone got hurt last night? Shoot, it was cold and wet enough, someone could get sick or something. If Carlos Beltran or Albert Pujols wake up today with some illness, I can't imagine either team being too happy with MLB and Fox.

Damn Yankees.

Interestingly, being at a playoff game is less stressful than listening on the radio. However, the elbow room is a lot tighter.

I don't think too many of you are going to be intrested in the rest of my week (ooo! his washer is whisper quiet now!), so I'm just gonna skip it and move on to wrapping this up.

Expect no updates for awhile. I'ma go visit the Walls this weekend with Tiger. God help us all.


And that hot girl? That'll be the Cheat.
Dave

'e's not pining, e's passed on!

You're Minnesota!

You love hanging out around lakes, even if they're frozen solid. Given
your probable Scandanavian heritage, it all just demonstrates that you're pining for the
fjords. Your obsession with wrestling got a little carried away for a while there, and
this should prompt some serious reflection about the separation of mind and body. It may
be time to celebrate, even throw your hat up in the air. You're going to make it after
all.


Take the State Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

Take that as you will.

More interesting post later. Like, tomorrow, probably.


so...eh, then, eh?
Dave