The Battle for Middle-Earth

Let it be known that Nerd-Dom comes in varying levels.

1.) Mild Enjoyment: Going to see a movie, enjoying it, and buying it, even if you only watch it once.

2.) Thorough Enjoyment: Seeing the movie, and then reading all the books. Wait until the "Special Edition" of said movie comes out and buying it, and buying said "Special Edition" for a copy of the movie you already have.

3.) Mild Obsessiveness: Watching the movies quite often. Watching documentaries on bonus discs and laughing along with silly anecdotes, even though you weren't there. Point out book-to-movie discrepincies to anyone and everyone, even if they don't care.

4.) Unhealthy Obsession: Buying not one, but two computer games based on said movie/novel/breakfast cereal. Think that having an army of the dead, even just a couple guys, would be pretty damn cool.

5.) Full-blown Nerdiness: Honestly think that lighting fixtures in the Cheesecake Factory look a lot like the Eye of Sauron.


That said, it's not all I've been doing. I've been doing a lot of crossword puzzles lately, and...oh, crap, I mean, I played Half-Life 2 again, and, shit...um, well, I.....

How about Christmas, eh? Yes, World Peace was maintained, due to either the neutral territory, or my many threats of bloody death to anyone stepping out of line. Maybe it was a blessing from the Papal States. Or the ham. It was pretty pretty good, you know. We have plenty, if anyone's hungry. I s'pose I wouldn't mind hosting again, but man, the pre-holiday cleaning is just God-awful. Bleah. Many thanks to the States for swinging by and helping. We couldn't have done it without you. Really, it was quite nice having the family together and, pretty much, getting along. Perhaps there's hope still for all of us.

I'm smack-dab in the middle of a week off from work, and I must say it's a wonderful experience. Apart from a few piddly house chores, I haven't really done much of anything. I availed myself of the warmer weather today and took some pictures, but that's about it. Watched a lot of movie, played some computer, even took up mall walking. Oh, and I've eaten. Lots. Like, way too much. I'm actually giving strong thought to using the gym at the civic center once I get my resident card renewed. It's certainly not a case of being totally un-buff, I just want to be more buff. More...buff. Yeah.

I also feel somewhat obligated to do some end-of-the-year wrap-up, because it's the hip thing to do. So let's try.

Best Album: How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb, U2
Runner-Up: Is There Love in Space?, Joe Satriani

Best Concert: Cowboy Mouth, Mississippi Nights, February 6
Runner-Up: Joe Satriani, The Pageant, October 24

Best Movie: The Incredibles
Runner-Up: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
*It should be noted I only saw 3 movies in the theatres all year.

Best Reason to Stay Up Later than I Should: New York Times Crossword Puzzle collections

Best Photo Shoot: Telegraphers club (wire tappers, morse code, etc.)
Runner-Up: tie: Relay for Life and Vietnam Memorial Wall

Most Superficial, Vapid Event: Shandi Finnessy Day. Please.

Best New Appliance: My new toaster.
Runner-Up: The stand-up mixer.

Best Athlete: Tony Womack

Best Sport: Baseball
Runner-Up: Football

Best Thing to Be Told at Work: "I'll tell you what. I give you permission to goof off for the next two hours."



I think I'll go goof off for a couple hours now.

Nobody's gonna take my car, gonna break the speed of sound, yeah.
Dave

I've got the music in me!

As I'm sure you've all been doing lately, I found myself somewhat down knowing the 'Tones won't be touring next year. Then I heard myself say:

"You know, you've got a wonderful recording of their last show to last you, and an entire Archive.org of shows to peruse."

And I say:

"Yeah, but it's just not the same."

So myself says:

"So what are you going to do next year? Sit around and mope?"

And I say:

"No, I'm going to do a few things: see U2 support HTDAAB, see the Mouth support [new album name here], catch Vic on his solo tour, see Steve Vai on April 10 at the Pageant, and see the Jeff Coffin Mu'Tet February 12 at the Broadway Street Oyster Bar."

So myself says:

"Why the big deal, then?"

And I say:

"I dunno, I just like complaining."

At that point, my inner self said a few things I can't repeat in mixed company, and locked itself in my room. The point is, I think, is that I have some good shows to see next year. That's it, really. I just wanted an excuse to do a really lame spin on Steve's inner dialogue about pizza. It really wasn't very good, and I apologize.

But hey: Steve Vai!


Basses on Mars?
Dave

I like the sound of my own voice.

Mmm...the sweet smell of a survey. I'm trying to horn in on Steve's territory here.

----------------- THE BASICS--------------------
--Name: Dav(id)
-- Birthday: 12 September 1981
-- Nicknames: Mooooooooooooore!!!! and....Fish Boy
-- Favorite band: psh.

-----------------YOU PREFER--------------------
--Pepsi or Coke: Co'Cola
-- McDonald's or Burger King: I decided BK takes itself way too seriously tonight, so McDon's.
-- Adidas or Nike: Either one works. They both fit.
-- Chocolate or vanilla: If I go to Steak 'n Shake, I can get both at once, so why bother choosing?
-- Cappuccino or coffee: Mountain Dew. Thank you.
-----------------DO YOU--------------------
--Smoke: No, I can get my own beek jerky, thank you.
-- Cuss: Wednesdays, every other Friday, and odd numbered Thursdays.
-- Take a shower everyday: When necessary.
-- Have a crush(es): No, but I do have an (es), thank you.
-- Who are they?: She's over there. Watch out! She'll get ya when you least expect it!
-- Do you think you've been in love?: I wasn't. Then I was. Now am. Will be for at least another 2 terabytes worth of hours or so.
--Want to go to college: Why? Are you paying?
-- Want to get married: Sure. Sounds like fun.
-- Type w/ your fingers on the right keys: Mario and I didn't get along. Wario taught me the evil ways of....non-proper typing methods.
-- Believe in yourself: Except when I'm trying to curl my tongue, yes.
-- Get motion sickness: No, but I have been to a place called Vertigo. It's everything I wish I didn't know.
-- Think you're attractive: Are you kidding? I've got to use giant tremor-inducing machines to keep the ant lions at bay. Wait. That's Gordon Freeman. Yes. Yes I'm very attractive. Can't you tell?
-- Like thunderstorms: I like the rain falling down on me.
-- Play an instrument: Is mayonnaise an instrument?

------------IN THE PAST MONTH HAVE YOU----------------
--Smoke(d): Yes. I lit my eyelashes on fire "just to see what it felt like."
-- Done a drug: I only get one? What a bummer...
-- Gone to the mall: Yes, but not to shop.
-- Eaten sushi: The Beatles!
-- Been on stage: Yes. Really!
-- Gone skating: Only along the slippery road of life. Next, please.
-- Made homemade cookies: Yes. Twice, even!
-- Been in love: Four sure, yo.
-- Dyed your hair: Nyet.
-- Stolen anything: Three lame jokes and some air from a guy in Clayton. He wasn't using it, as far as I could tell.
-----------------HAVE YOU EVER--------------------
--Flown on a plane: I refues to believe being taped to the wings is the "economy class."
-- Missed school because it was raining?: What?
-- Told a guy/girl that you liked them?: Guy divided by girl=cos45. So, yes. I think.
-- Cried during a movie?: Sigh, when Mothra was beating up on Godzilla, I just couldn't help myself.
-- Ever thought an animated character was hot?: Aeon Flux? Psh. It's all about Daria.
-- Had an imaginary friend: I had to get rid of him. He kept eating my Crispix.
-- Been on stage?: Look up!
-- Cut your hair: Yes. With a spoon.
-- Had crush on a teacher?: Marie Osmond. I mean, wait. No.
-- Gotten beaten up: I wasn't all that good at that old Nintendo boxing game.
-- Been in a fight: But I rule at any Mortal Kombat before they went 3-D.
-----------------THE FUTURE--------------------
--Age you hope to be married: Somewhere between my age now and 87.
-- Numbers and Names of Children: I'm going to have Ron children and name them 8, 14, and 63.
-- How do you want to die?: Happy and peacefully.
-- What do you want to be when you grow up?: Paul Sanchez and/or news photographer.
-- What country would you most like to visit?: That little one in Europe.

-----------------OPPOSITE SEX--------------------
--Best eye/hair color: Anything natural, save for magenta.
-- Short or long hair: Are you asking my preferences in cats all of a sudden?
-- Best height: Tall enough to change lightbulbs.

-----------------NUMBER OF-------------------
Number of people I could trust with my life: Are you trying to kill me?
number of people who have actually saved it: 38.
-- Number of CDs that I own: I have some CDs, thank you, I don't want to join your music club.
-- Number of piercings: Q.
-- Number of tattoos: Ha.
-- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: Quite often (really!).

------------Favorites---------------------
--Shampoo: On sale.
-- Fav Color: Green.
-- Day/Night: Cider!
-- Summer/Winter: Very small rocks!
-- Lace or Satin: Churches!
-- Fave Food: A duck!
-- Fave sports stars: Womack. Duh, really people, come on.

----------------RIGHT NOW--------------------
--Wearing: Your pants and my uncle's green t-shirt.
-- Thinking about: "Man this is long."
-- Listening to: Squeaky chair.
---------------IN THE LAST 24 HRS--------------------
--Cried: Nosir.
-- Worn jeans: Only once.
-- Met someone new online: We're Sorry, AIM is being a butt right now.
-- Done laundry: Thrice.
-- Drove a car: I know these fast cars won't do me no good.
-- Talked on the phone: Not to you, sorry.

----------------DO YOU BELIEVE IN----------------
--Your friends: Yah.
-- Santa Claus: I believe in...um...crap. The funny went away.
-- Tooth Fairy: Just the Root Canal Imp.
-- Destiny/Fate: Why all the long division tonight?
-- Angels: Shore.
-- Ghosts: Not yet. Lens flare does not count as a ghost, sorry.
-- UFOs: <--Unnecessary apostrophe removed
-- God: Indubitably.
--------FRIENDS AND LIFE--------------------
--Do you ever wish you had another name?: I've always been partial to Sugar Magnolia.
-- Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend?: I've got Janice. That's even better!
-- Which one of your friends acts the most like you?: My clone. I love him dearly.
-- Who have you known the longest of your friends?: What's it to you, fish lips?
-- Are you close to any family member?: Well, my grandma lives about 10-12 minutes away, and...huh? Oh. You meant it like that. Yes. They all rock.
-- Who do you hang around the most?: George and Chip.
-- What's the best feeling in the world?: A good one. I'll get you an exact word for it later.
-- Worst Feeling?: Regret.
-- What time is it now?: 2:57. So much for bed before 3. That's the third time this week!


There. That was silly, eh? I wonder if my answers reflect my general sleepiness? Probably. Sleep! Yes, good idea, me.

Why thank you.

Good night!


Davjkhgljkhgjkzzzzzzzzzz

I get the joke, so I'm gonna keep on laughin'

I saw Cowboy Mouth last night. It was weird, because amongst all the other stuff going on lately, the show was sort of pushed to the side. Plus, I wasn't as psyched about the show as much as usual going in. Again, probably just too much other stuff going on. Of course, it took about 10 seconds of show for that feeling to wear off, and I was back in good 'ol Mouth Land, where "hopes and dreams never die." They played the VooDoo Lounge at Harrah's, which was essentially a glorified bar with a stage over the bar itself. Kinda weird looking up the whole time, but it was pretty cool, and the sound wasn't as bad as I was thinking originally. The set wasn't anything mind-blowing, but it was solid. They played 'Laughable,' which is always a treat, along with 'Cab't Stay Here' and 'Here Comes Troublw,' neither of which I'd heard in awhile. Ms. Mary was unable to attend due to family business, so they had a very good stand-in, Sonya Somethingorother. She had, as Tom put it, a lot of spunk. Very good job for only her second show. Two points of note:

One.) 'Light it on Fire' was not played. Anywhere. That is, I think, a first.
b.) Fred did not mention the name of the band or where they were from. Another first.

I chatted with Griff for a bit after the show. Again, he was as nice as could be, and seemed happier to have Tom and I come see the LT show tomorrow then we are he and Paul are staying an extra night to play for us. We talked about his old band, the Red Rockers, touring with U2 back in '85 on the Unforgettable Fire tour, and how they were great guys, etc., and how Bono even rememberd him a couple years later and asked how he was doing.

It's nice to enjoy bands with quality people making the music.

I saw UnBit Tuesday night. It was chaotic, in a way, but it was that way by design, so it was pretty cool. And the show was funny. I wasn't too out of the loop, so the jokes didn't go over my head. The lighting was very good. Ten points must go to Dan for his brilliant contribution to the show. Another ten points to Steeeeeeeve (The Musical!) for the Verizon skit and 3 1/2 points for the Monty Python reference. Charlie gets a gold star (ding!) for his Homestar Runner impression. I'd recommend the show to all of you, but it was a one-night run, so if you missed it, well, tough toenails. Go see it next year!

By the way, Gordon Freeman's clearance is indeed level 3.

A few other points of interest:

-I'm now the proud owner of a JS100 electric guitar. Got it for nearly $200 cheaper than originally planned, and I even got a case.

-Half Life 2 is as good the second time as it is the first.

-Fishy is more addictive than Snood and crack combined.

-I have no idea how addicitve crack is.

-I'm just streeeeetching this out as long as I can now.

-I was walking from the parking lot into the building at work on Tuesday, and saw one of our big garage doors slowly lowering after a delivery van went inside. There was a bell ringing to notify everyone it was in, and I had half a mind to roll under the door and start yelling about a warp core breach, but I didn't.

-Tony Womack is no longer a Cardinal. This saddens me to no end.

I'ma go light up my door now. Bye!

With my brains and your braun, we'll make an excellent team.
Dave

Peace on Earth, gimme presents!

I don't really think too highly of our radio options here in town. As I've mentioned before, KSHE is a shadow of what it once was (Creed in the same promo as Rush and Floyd?), and the other major stations are pretty hit-or-miss in terms of something I want to hear. 98% of the time it's 'miss,' although KHITS isn't too bad most of the time. My general disdain for a lot of current music doesn't help me too much, I suppose. I'm not big on talk radio, either, so the whole of the AM side is out. Again, NPR isn't too shabby, but I just can't get into sitting around listening to people talk, good or bad.

All that being said, there is one station I can almost always count on. I think it's KDHX, although I'm not too sure. It's 88.7, and it's nuttin' but jazz. Real jazz, too. Not that hokey "smooth jazz" that people seem to like these days (*cough* Kenny G *cough* dork *cough*), but honest-to-God jazz: guys on upright bass, wacky piano lines, hi-hats, etc. Not always guitar, but I don't mind in this case. It's great listening, and very low on commercials.

I was lucky enough to catch some Christmas music on that station the past couple days. I enjoy the jazz take on the old standards, although it can be hard to pick up what they're playing sometimes. I do believe, though, that anything I hear on the radio is going to be trumped by what may be the best Christmas album I've heard: the wonderfulygoodandfun Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack done by Mr. Vince Guiraldi. I think it even trumps Merry Axemas Vol. 1, but only slightly. Damn that's good stuff. And, as I was pondering it tonight, 'Linus and Lucy' could, in a sense, be considered a Christmas song, since it is on the album, and I think it might have been the first appearance of the song. I s'pose that's sort of pushing it a bit, though. I wonder if Mr. Guiraldi knew he had a hit on his hands when he was writing that, or if it was originally intended to just be filler music for the show. It's one fine piece of music, either way.

Another nice thing about no TV right now: no stupid Christmas commercials, or ho-ho-hum 'Holiday specicals.' Especially the stuff on ABD Family. Bleh bleh bleh. Someone (usually a guy) is being a clod, and through some magical happenstance, learns the True Meaning of the Season in time to....get the girl, or something. The end. Ignoring the fact none of these shows talk about the real meaning of the season, they just aren't much fun. Give me Pee Wee's Christmas Special anyday. Mmm...potatoe-y.

Or, even better, give me The Muppet Family Christmas. Now THAT is some funny stuff. You've got the regular Muppets, the Sesame Street gang, fraggles, and the best version of 'Jingle Bell Rock' all in one. Careful of the icey patch!

My Christmas shopping is coming along...um...good..ish. Yeah. I sat down the other night and made a list of everyone I'm gifting this year (13? sounds right), and then sat down and sifted through all my pictures. I'll have to assign pictures to people this week and then get them printed. It's no secret I do it for people, so I can safely type it here on the 'net. I'm also a bit of a rebel for the second straight year: I'm getting something for everyone, Dalette and her 'exchange list' be damned. Bring her on, I say! If she doesn't want what she gets, I'll give it to Janice, along with her other gift. For new readers, her present was made by the fine folks at ********.

I have to work 5 of the next 10 days. I do believe I can hold out, despite the slowness of things at the office right now. How slow, you ask? Our boss was out of the office Monday, so one of our 'official' tasks was to make paper snow flakes for decoration. A few more weeks and the action should pick up, thankfully. For now, I'll enjoy the lull.

I think that's enough for now. I hope to regal you all with a first-hand account of Un-Bit Butter later this week. Stay warm, folks. It's cold enough out there to freeze your Winnebago!

How can he be all ears? Frogs don't even have ears.
Dave

At the Sign of the Prancing Pony

I figured I'd make my own post instead of living vicariously through other people's posts.

I was looking 'round my living room last night and realized, ofr the first time, that it's kinda smallish. This is normally no big deal, but for exactly one afternoon/evening, it might be. In my infinite wisdom, or my desire to quell any inter-family hostilities, I decided to host the family (mum's side) for Christmas this year. At current count, we have...myself, Steve, grandmummy, Mum, Mike, Diane, Mike, Mike, Maria, aaaaaand (drum roll) Dalette. So that's ten, and pretty much everyone I originally expected. No one left out, which wa the plan. But, my house isn't that big. It's far from tiny, but having ten persons in and around its premises should be interesting.

Of course, if certain members come to blows, we'll have some extra space to work with. Would that be a bad thing? Hmm...

One amusing occurence. Since The Lord of the Manor is off work, and will be coming for a visit, we will, as you might have noticed, have three (3) Mikes in one house. See Michael Js to boot. So, the fun thing will be for someone, out of the blue to ask for Mike. then we all have a hearty laugh as much confusion ensues.

Well, I might laugh.

There's something to be said for continuing education. Or common sense. Either one would have saved me a hassle in regards to the website, which is now on at least another week's hiatus because I can't spell photography. So you get to wait even longer. Sorry. I'll use the time to fix anything that needs fixing, and make it look better. I swear I'll have it up and running by January. Really.

I'd like to make a post compiling "The Best of Fr. Craig." E-mail me anything you've got (preferably quotes), and I'll get them up.

Awake! Fear! Fire! Foes! Awake!
Dave

I'm going nowhere, where I am it is a lot of fun.

There will come a day, mark my words, when, no matter how hard I try, I'm going to have to face the inevitable:

I'm going to be old.

It's a fact of life, and one I can't get around. This doesn't trouble me, though, as I plan to live to be at least 100, for reasons to nerdy to go into here. That being said, I'd like to think I could remain fairly spry. Actually, if I had my way, I'd like to be as mobile as the chaps in the Rolling Stones, who are all in their early 900s, except for Keith Richards who actually died in 1982. No one's had the heart to tell him, so he just keeps on going.

But he's damn good guitar player. I was listening to their new live album before buying HTDAAB last week, and they still sound good. How do they do that? A deal with the Evil One? Lots of practice? Lots of drugs? All three?

Anyways.

I beat Half Life 2 on Monday night. I'm quite pleased, although the somewhat vagueish ending is annoying, just as it was in the first game. I wanna know what happened, consarnit! Heaven help me if I have to wait another 6 years to find out the end. Sigh. Another pitfall of being a nerd.

I bought Janice her Christmas present and I've been having a blast teasing her about it (all in good fun, I promise). I'l give you all a hint, though. It was made by ********. Cool, huh? I think she'll like it.

Um, I haven't really considered what I'm buying for anyone else, save for mom. Sorry folks, but I will get on it. Soon. Really.

Speaking of being a nerd. Godzilla: Final Wars premiered on Monday. Depending on who you ask, it's either a whiz-bang all-out uber-fun movie, or it's an evil abomination, the worst thing ever made in terms of Godzilla, and a total disgrace to his 50th birthday. I'll have to wait until I asee it sometime next year, but the clips I've seen make it out to be fun. As some reviewers have pointed out, SPFX and such look much different on screen then they do on a PC monitor, so I have to keep that in mind. But, we'll see. I really want to like it, so I'm willing to work with the film, and not expect anything earth-shattering. All I want is to be entertained.

And, with that, I'm gonna go before your image of me slips another notch.


I know these fast cars won't do me no good.
Dave